Reminiscing: Homemaking with a flair

Gentle readers, when I happened upon this treasure in a flea market, I just knew it was for me. "Flair" is my middle name. I like to think of myself as someone who injects as much "flair" into her homemaking as possible, but I know that I have much to learn. Elegantly sashaying to you all the way from the fall of 1971, I bring you Homemaking with a flair:

The conversation that I imagine when I see this photo:

"Darling, thank you for this beautiful Styrofoam cup. I've never seen anything like it."

"You're welcome. Are you certain that you will be able to maintain your Flair in that polyester ensemble?"

"Oh, yes. And if I get too warm and begin to lose my Flair, I'll just take one of the feathers from the table arrangements and use it as a fan."

Notice that this is volume four of a series. There are more of these out there and I must find them. I must learn how to put together "an imaginative table setting" and "an out-of-sight outfit." "Let the Flair begin!" (This book is full of random capitalization.)

I invite you to journey back in time with me and enjoy the advertisements in particular.

Thankfully, they provide extensive details about this ensemble in case you want to buy one for yourself. "...[M]ake your appearance in a striking hostess outfit. Guests may forget you're the cook as well. The perfect holiday outfit shown here is by KORET OF CALIFONIA (R), of 100% Dacron (R) Polyester, completely machine washable. Hostess skirt about $27. Shell about $20. Simple, elegant, and easy care. And, most of all, it sets the tone for fun with a flair."

Did these people consider where you normally see bottles in brown paper bags? That's not what I would call "Flair," but to each his own.

First of all, what is some of this crap? Second of all, who wants to dine next to that painting? Where is the Flair?

Now this guy knows about Flair:

You can buy this cookware in "sparkling flame" or "savory avocado."

Here, we have more Flair. Nothing says "Flair" like a styrofoam ball. Plus, you can make one of these in less than an hour!

It would be difficult to resist this man, dressed in his "Flair-ful" plaid jacket and mustard yellow turtleneck. As for the lady, we have another ensemble from KORET OF CALIFORNIA (R). "You'll reflect the holiday mood yourself, with the accent on flair, in an outfit by KORET OF CALIFORNIA (R)." This one is also made of Dacron (R) Polyester and it is sure to attract a man who appears to have walked off of the set of a 1970s soap opera.

I'm not sure how much more "Flair" I can take. Here, we have "Tartar Steak" formed into a "loaf or mound" and "Norwegian Paste" formed into a "mound." I have no additional comments to make on the appearance of these "mounds" in the photograph.

Moving right along, don't forget the fruit cake, which screams "Flair!"

Ah, the Christmas buffet. I'm okay with the fare, although it probably isn't anything that I would serve at my own table, but I'm frightened by the sea creature platter that holds the shrimp. Nothing says "Flair!" and "happy holidays" like two intertwined, angry, grotesque sea monsters sneering at everyone from the middle of the table.

One word, and it isn't "Flair": yuck.

Whenever I see the words "dogs" and "cheese" in the same sentence, I recoil in horror. Most dog owners know what I'm talking about--cheese and dog digestive systems do not get along.

Is that Captain Furillo from Hill Street Blues? The lady is "serving her punch with a flair in the outfit shown here by KORET OF CALIFORNIA (R). Personally, I would have chosen an outfit that matched the punch, but that's probably why "flair" isn't capitalized here.

You always want to go out on a high note [(c) George Costanza] with a picture of some raw ground beef. Do you think that the boullion adds "Flair" or "flair"?