Monday, August 24, 2009

Do They Know It's Christmas?

Once again, courtesy of Mrs. Disgustington's inherited catalog subscriptions, I have some ideas for those of you gentle readers who want to get started on your Christmas shopping.

First, of course, you should decorate with such klassy and fantastic items as this bathroom set:

And this computer monitor garland (I know that I always scatter some pine cones and poinsettias around my desk during the holidays):

Your dog certainly won't be embarrassed to wear one of these (look at the dog on the right, Leah!):

Ah, one of my favorite holiday hybrids: cows and Christ:

To go with your computer monitor garland, how about a USB powered Christmas tree?

Someone who works for this particular catalog must be a Steelers fan. The following are several gift ideas that I included for Mrs. G's daughter.

The snowman family:

The desk clock:

The autographed football:

Wallets OR checkbook covers!

The desk set:

Perhaps a nice throw blanket?

If nothing else has tempted you so far, surely these garden lights will:

A wall clock for the new kitchen?

Official NFL musical ornaments!

For the next Superbowl party:

More klassy krap for your desk:

A tote bag:

The official Steelers inflatable chair:

You're welcome ;-)

I had to include this only because these poor children are being forced to ride a sub-par version of the RollerRacer, which Brother of Ken and I had in the 80s. That was an awesome toy, especially coasting along the uneven sidewalks of our 100+ year old neighborhood.

For your superhero-loving young one:

How about a nice neon table lamp to accentuate your game room?

I'm just guessing, but this looks like it would be about as good an idea as my father's uncle (or someone) giving my dad and Uncle of Ken real bows and arrows for Christmas when they were children.

Marshmallows can move, baby!

This is just gross:

So is this, the "Butt Station:"

And now, for one of my favorite holiday gift categories: wildlife/hunting, which you can package beautifully in these camouflage gift bags. Won't those be hard to find under the tree?

I love a nice deer figurine, especially when they look like the kind of deer that have taken some kind of leg and antler enhancement drugs:

For that special hunter in your life--and the belt is reversible!

If that special hunter already has a wallet and a belt, perhaps he or she would enjoy this rifle furniture:

Yeah. Yee-haw! That would be my reaction upon opening this crap on Christmas morning.

For anyone who is looking to redecorate a bathroom, but can't decide on a theme, how about wild horses?

Did someone put new dishes on his or her Christmas list this year? Choose between deer, bears, or horses--or, better yet, get all three and mix and match!

It isn't easy to find decorative doorstops these days:

And, finally, how about a set of wrestling-themed collapsible chairs?

I hope you saw something that you couldn't live without. Unfortunately for my family, none of these items are on my Christmas list this year, so they'll have to look elsewhere for gifts for me.


Rosie Hawthorne said...

I get lots of catalogs, but have never seen this crap before.

Leah said...

Holy frick. I thank all that is good and pure that my mother hasn't received this catalog; otherwise, she'd have all that Steelers crap.

Also, if I put that outfit on Holly, she'd kill me in my sleep.

I have to fix my scanner or get a new one. I've found quite a bit of similar crap in coupons taken from the newspaper.