Do They Know It's Christmas?

Once again, courtesy of Mrs. Disgustington's inherited catalog subscriptions, I have some ideas for those of you gentle readers who want to get started on your Christmas shopping.

First, of course, you should decorate with such klassy and fantastic items as this bathroom set:

And this computer monitor garland (I know that I always scatter some pine cones and poinsettias around my desk during the holidays):

Your dog certainly won't be embarrassed to wear one of these (look at the dog on the right, Leah!):

Ah, one of my favorite holiday hybrids: cows and Christ:



To go with your computer monitor garland, how about a USB powered Christmas tree?




Someone who works for this particular catalog must be a Steelers fan. The following are several gift ideas that I included for Mrs. G's daughter.



The snowman family:




The desk clock:

The autographed football:

Wallets OR checkbook covers!

The desk set:

Perhaps a nice throw blanket?

If nothing else has tempted you so far, surely these garden lights will:

A wall clock for the new kitchen?

Official NFL musical ornaments!

For the next Superbowl party:

More klassy krap for your desk:

A tote bag:

The official Steelers inflatable chair:

You're welcome ;-)

I had to include this only because these poor children are being forced to ride a sub-par version of the RollerRacer, which Brother of Ken and I had in the 80s. That was an awesome toy, especially coasting along the uneven sidewalks of our 100+ year old neighborhood.

For your superhero-loving young one:

How about a nice neon table lamp to accentuate your game room?

I'm just guessing, but this looks like it would be about as good an idea as my father's uncle (or someone) giving my dad and Uncle of Ken real bows and arrows for Christmas when they were children.

Marshmallows can move, baby!

This is just gross:

So is this, the "Butt Station:"

And now, for one of my favorite holiday gift categories: wildlife/hunting, which you can package beautifully in these camouflage gift bags. Won't those be hard to find under the tree?

I love a nice deer figurine, especially when they look like the kind of deer that have taken some kind of leg and antler enhancement drugs:

For that special hunter in your life--and the belt is reversible!

If that special hunter already has a wallet and a belt, perhaps he or she would enjoy this rifle furniture:

Yeah. Yee-haw! That would be my reaction upon opening this crap on Christmas morning.

For anyone who is looking to redecorate a bathroom, but can't decide on a theme, how about wild horses?

Did someone put new dishes on his or her Christmas list this year? Choose between deer, bears, or horses--or, better yet, get all three and mix and match!

It isn't easy to find decorative doorstops these days:

And, finally, how about a set of wrestling-themed collapsible chairs?

I hope you saw something that you couldn't live without. Unfortunately for my family, none of these items are on my Christmas list this year, so they'll have to look elsewhere for gifts for me.

Do They Know It's Christmas?

Since the holiday season is quickly approaching, I have been receiving a record number of catalogs addressed to the previous resident of this house, Mrs. Disgustington. You may remember from my previous "Do They Know It's Christmas?" post that these catalogs are filled with some interesting gift ideas, holiday decorations, and home decor. Being in possession of these catalogs, I feel that it is my duty to share some of the possibilities with you gentle readers who may not otherwise be aware of them.

I'll begin with some gifts for the sports fan--specifically for those who like football. Gentle readers, I give you The Dork Family:

Trim your tree with one of these--they are even musical!

Stay comfortable while you watch the game in some of these:

After you have adorned both your person and your tree with items supporting your favorite team, be sure that you don't forget about your car:



And don't forget the outside of your house:





I don't quite understand this next one. I get the "joke" of the shirt, but why does the guy have to have the Santa hat and beard? Just because he has a big stomach? Frankly, this guy looks like a 19 year old model that strapped on a 3 month size fake pregnancy belly before he put on the shirt...


Perhaps you could pair the beer gut t-shirt with these lounge pants for an extra special gift. There is just something fundamentally wrong about making lounge pants that look like worn out jeans--what is the point? I seem to recall a similar knit-pants-made-to-look-like-jeans product that someone marketed for about five minutes in 1987. It didn't work then and I doubt it will work now.


And now for some Christmas themed products. First, I have seen these Santa pants candy bags in at least two other catalogs. Who wants to eat candy out of Santa's pants?



I love these themed bathroom rugs. I see them in these catalogs all of the time for various holidays. The Christmas ones are the best, though, and this example of Santa and a chimney-that-serves-as-a-tissue-holder is something else. I once saw one that made it look like Santa had fallen head first into the toilet.


Here we have another "exclusive" item: the dog themed Nativity set. I think I would have used a Chihuahua to play the baby Jesus.



This next item--what do I say about this? I am considering it as a gift for someone I know who collects cow themed items. I am sure that she needs a new vacuum cover.

Who leaves their vacuum out? Don't most people put them in closets or in the corner of a bedroom or something? Or are there people who have to leave the vacuum in the living room and therefore need a cover for it? And why a cow and not just a piece of fabric? I would not want this thing lurking in the corner...

For the hunter in your life:

I cannot tell you how crude some of the items in these catalogs are--I saw at least 15 items that were similar to the one below. I will let the photo speak for itself ;-)

If you've been shopping for a dickie for you or for a loved one, look no further. These are even fleece! I don't understand the point of these, particularly not in fleece.

This next one is just awful. But still kind of funny. But I would absolutely never give these to a friend of mine who had a baby in early April. Never...

These things are so creepy. I was in a store once where someone had one of these on the counter and I thought it was real. The baby versions are even creepier.

Speaking of creepy:

What is this all about? Who is buying these things? What does one do with them?

Finally, the piece de resistance of any properly decorated home: