Reminiscing: The New Joys of Jell-O

As I mentioned in my last post, I had a successful hunting expedition for more terrible cookbooks, so I bring you the first installment of this new group, The New Joys of Jell-O.

Jell-O obviously spent a lot of time and money on the photography for this book. Too bad they didn't spend as much time and money on the research and testing of the recipes. This two page spread comes at the beginning of the book and I think that it is meant to entice you to read further to find out how to make such delicacies as Jell-O wine, cottage cheese in a carafe, maple syrup cocktails, and I can't even figure out what else.

Here, I would like to call your attention to the recipe for "Molded Tomato Relish," which consists of the irresistible combination of tomatoes, lemon or strawberry gelatin, salt, and vinegar, molded into the tomato can. Well, they certainly are environmentally friendly.

Look, a whole family enjoying a tasty Jell-O based meal in their very own home!

Perhaps a little "Jellied Prune Whip" might sound good? Interestingly, they do not provide a photograph of this dish.

Don't these people look like they are having fun partaking of the Jell-O based delicacies so stylishly presented on the buffet table? It seems to me that the mere combination of people wearing these cutting edge seventies fashions hanging around and eating cutting edge seventies Jell-O dishes has the potential for one crazy partay.

These tarts are supposed to be a "creative pleasure to make" but are they a "pleasure to eat"? I doubt it.

Another two page spread of jellied fantasticness artfully arranged to tempt even the most Jell-O resistant person:

What is that thing in the top left corner?

The Green Goddess Salad Bowl beckoning guests to dig in:

In case you were wondering what is in this "Green Goddess Salad Bowl," I have scanned the recipe. This is one crazy combination of lime gelatin, garlic salt, sour cream, mayonnaise, vinegar, anchovies, crab meat, and avocados:

If the Green Goddess Salad doesn't sound good, perhaps you would care for some "Antipasto Salad." It is an irresistible combination of lemon gelatin, vinegar, salami, Swiss cheese, celery, onion, and olives:

I just can't tell you how much I would like to sit down at this table and dig right in:

Featuring "Jellied Gazpacho"!

This is one terrible combination that would make an Andalusian sing one of those laments they sing from balconies during Semana Santa.

I guess I am just not into this whole using Jell-O to make savory dishes thing.

For some reason, when I look at this picture, I am reminded of the SNL sketch with Will Ferrell and Rachel Dratch as the annoying lovers.

Check out the salad at the bottom left. Yes, those are eggs. I believe that the following is the recipe for this tasty treat:

Yummy!

Again, why are these people screwing up "Spanish" food? Lemon gelatin and tuna? Ugh.

You, too, could have an all Jell-O wedding! Jellied champagne and a bunch of other jellied crap!

This would include "Creamy Bleu Cheese Salad" which features lemon gelatin, cream cheese, bleu cheese, and Dream Whip. Not into that? How about "Salmon Dill Mousse"?

Nothing like a delicious "Molded Potato Salad" to accompany your molded franks and beans and molded burgers.

The kid on the right doesn't look thrilled with his Jell-O creation:

If this hasn't made your stomach churn, I'll be back soon with 500 Delicious Dishes from Leftovers which should do the trick.

Parents Just Don't Understand

With the latest addition to our family, Brother of Ken's new puppy, MacGyver, Christmas was pretty interesting this year. We had four dogs, including the puppy, and we pretty much just let them do their thing. Most of dog pack behavior is beyond my comprehension, but it is certainly interesting to observe.

Kenna played with MacGyver some, but she eventually decided that he was not worth her time and she didn't like that he "stole" attention and pets from her, so she spent most of Christmas on the couch in a pose of superiority and with a look of disdain in her eyes.

Here are the two of them together:

Piper, the female Boxer, was torn between being the mama dog and putting Mac in his place. Boomer just wanted to kill him most of the time.

Because our Christmas plans had to be changed as a result of the snow storm, Brother of Ken had to bring Mac with him to Aunt and Uncle of Ken's house so that they could leave from there. Brother of Ken's truck isn't very big, so Mac rode with the rest of us in the other truck and I was in charge of entertaining him for an hour. Here he is checking out the presents in the back of the truck:

In a rare moment of calm and quiet:

He is a Border Collie/Lab mix (I think) and he is wearing the Christmas collar that Kenna and I gave him:

Who could resist this face?

Looking out the window:

Playing tug with an old towel since we forgot to put any toys in the truck:

Mac really wanted to get in the driver's seat with dad:

He rode for about the last fifteen minutes perched on the armrest, looking out the windshield:

When we arrived at Aunt and Uncle of Ken's house, Mac got to play with their new puppy who is about the same age, Sophie. Sophie is a German Shepherd mix and the two of them played almost non stop for about four hours both inside and outside. They ran through the snow until they were both soaking wet and then slept in a pile on the porch and ran some more. When Mac had to leave, Sophie came inside and got into her bed and slept like a rock for at least two hours. Mac slept all the way home, for which Brother of Ken was glad.

One of my favorite pictures of Mac--he fell asleep (finally) on Father of Ken's lap on Christmas Eve with his tongue hanging out of his mouth:

Some videos of all four dogs in action on Christmas Eve:

Happy New Year, gentle readers! I hit the jackpot on terrible cookbooks at a flea market, so I'll be "Reminiscing" soon.

Hey Santa: Christmas in Kansas

This year, I thought that I would share some of my family's most cherished Christmas tree ornaments with you, my gentle readers.

This is an ornament that Mother of Ken made several years ago and it seems appropriate to begin with it:

Here's the tree with lights, ready for us to decorate and Boomer ready to supervise:

The most famous and important ornament of all is the Egg Carton Santa that Father of Ken made when he was a child. It is the first ornament that goes on the tree every year and it has a special box of its very own:

Tags that belonged to our late, beloved first Boxer, Kramer:

The little bear with the bow tie:

Brother of Ken's very own egg carton creation--this time, a bell (I think) that is an homage to the Oakland Raiders:

The baby ornament that Mother of Ken bought the Christmas that she was pregnant with me:

The bear with the scarf:

The felt Wizard of Oz ornaments that everyone in our family has a set of:

Super Mouse:

Brother of Ken's Bednight Bear ornament:

Once all of those ornaments were on the tree, along with many others, it was time to put the angel on top. Kenna is helping Father of Ken:

Here is our table, set for Christmas dinner:

We had beef tenderloin with white wine and shallot sauce, puffed Manchego mashed potatoes, roasted broccoli and cauliflower, herb rolls, and salad.

For dessert, we had a variety of candies and cookies including (from the bottom left), homemade toffee courtesy of Grambi and Aunt of Ken, dark chocolate bark with pistachios and dried cherries, peanut blossom cookies, butter mints, Ina Garten's jam thumbprints (not worth the effort), and Danish wedding cookies:

The living room:

The Nativity set (or "activity" set as Brother of Ken used to call it) painted by Grambi:

A winter storm hit here on Christmas Eve, so we had sleet and snow coming down along with winds gusting up to 45 mph. We sent Grandmother and Uncle of Ken home early and then decided that we weren't going to be able to make it up north to Mother of Ken's church for Mass. This is the first year in my entire life that I haven't gone to church on Christmas Eve, but it just wasn't safe for us to be on the road, especially in the dark. It sleeted and snowed all night--it sounded like someone was throwing marbles at our windows. We were supposed to celebrate Christmas with Father of Ken's family, but the roads were not clear, so we had to wait until Saturday. Thankfully, we had plenty of leftover tenderloin to eat. Needless to say, no part of our Christmas plans took place as we expected, but everyone is alive and safe and we eventually got to see each other and that is the important thing.

There is still a lot of crap on the roads, several days later. In New York, I am used to competent snow removal, but in Kansas, that doesn't exist. I love Kansas, but the city manager here once said that "our best source of snow removal is the sun." They don't plow much, they don't treat the roads, and they just let people pack the snow down until the whole town is like an ice rink.

Holiday Road

I apologize, gentle readers, for not giving you any new posts for a while. Things have been a little crazy around here with the holidays and a certain stubborn 91 year old with shingles. Anyway, I'll try to bring you up to date with the next few posts. These pictures are from two weeks ago when Kenna and I drove from New York to Kansas. The trip took three days because we had to take the southern route to avoid bad weather. By the end of the second day (about 14 hours in the car), Kenna was not happy. Here she is relaxing in our hotel room:

After a good night's sleep, she hid under the bench in the room to avoid getting back in the car:

She was a wonderful dog, though, and she got back in the car and endured another eight hours on the road. We arrived in Kansas late Friday afternoon, much to her relief, and she was reunited with Piper and Boomer.

I Ran

After a long trip from New York, Kenna and I arrived in Kansas last Friday. On Saturday, Father of Ken and I were headed to Grambi's house and we saw this on the way outside of a flea market:

Just a little something for you gentle readers to enjoy while I get some other blog fodder together.

A Festivus for the rest of us!

Yes, gentle readers, the holiday season is upon us. Kenna and I decorated the house for the winter season and we thought we would share some of the photos with you. We used a few Christmas decorations, but mostly we used things that we can leave out until February so that we don't have to pack them all away in a week when we leave for Kansas.

The snowman collection on the windowsill:

My new letters that spell out "Noel." Mother of Ken has red block letters that spell out "Noel." She has had them for years and we have gotten into the habit of rearranging the letters to spell out other words like "Leon" and "Nelo" and "Onle." I am thrilled to have my own Noel letters now and mine even have glitter and sequins!

The stairs--I was watching Little Women as I decorated and this is how the March's stairs are decorated:

The top of the secretary in the kitchen:

Snowflakes hanging from the kitchen ceiling:

Kenna is exhausted:

Later, she tried once again to breach the indestructible dog toy. Still no progress on that front.

Today, we had snow. Not our first snow, mind you, but our first December snow.

Kenna does not care for snow. It gets in her dog ears and then she shakes repeatedly when she comes inside--kind of like Kramer on the plane when he had water in his ears.